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One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

"I do feel like we are living in Groundhog Day! I have to repeat myself so often and every time is either like new information or the children simply don't care. Doesn't matter how many times I explain the if you leave the bath taps on the bath will flood, or if they go out without a coat on they will get cold. They seem to totally unable to imagine or care about what happens next. This means that I already know to throw away my reward charts. Also stop bothering with 'if you don't..., x will happen.' it's pointless.


More puzzling, (and worrying) is that when we go backwards it seems to come out of nowhere. Today we were all sitting in the kitchen playing with some Play-Doh and suddenly William started screaming and crying and running out the back door. All the children looked puzzled and I had no idea what was going on. I followed him outside and hugged him to try and help him calm down. He wasn't making any sense - just crying and screaming and pointing. I couldn't get him to come in the kitchen for over half an hour. after a couple of hours i managed to work out that he was scared of a fly that had come into the room. it's really hard to know when this kind of thing might happen.


I had the same reactions last week when we went down to the beach. This was the first time the children have seen the see, and suddenly Sophie and William will literally climbing up me screaming hysterically. I'm sure people around us thought that something terrifying had just happened, but from the look on their faces something actually had.


Last week the school phoned me to say that Sophie was crying and could not be consoled. when I went up there, she was still sitting outside the headmistress’s room and no one could comfort her. I ended up taking her home.


I tried everything... guessing, telling her what I thought it was, etc, but nothing seems even close. Sometimes I just don't seem to be able to reach the children they seem like they're in a different place and when they look at me I don't feel like they're seeing me but something else. I can never tell what triggers these episodes of terror or extreme sadness. I just know that I have to stay with them and keep trying to get them back to me.


As a parent I think it's one of the most frustrating things. Just as I start to feel like I'm getting somewhere, I am suddenly looking at this child in front of me like they are crazy.


It's very scary...."


At NATP We Get It! We have walked in your shoes, some of us still are...





Extract taken: Therapeutic Parenting Essentials: Moving from Trauma to Trust

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