I am a fostered child. I’ve lived in many places.
I’ve forgotten lots of names but remember all the faces.
Julie was my favourite, she always called me sweetheart.
I wish they hadn’t moved me, I didn’t need a fresh start
My behaviour was my loudest voice but no one chose to listen.
They said they couldn’t cope so they bounced me round the system.
So many different families, so many different schools.
They said I could have stayed if hadn’t broke the rules.
They called the families placements and I was just a LAC.
I knew they wouldn’t keep me when they realised I’m so crap.
I didn’t need a placement, I didn’t need a label.
I needed understanding but they were just not able
No one ever missed me but I think Julie might have done.
I wish she could have kept me and I’d become her son.
I knew I should have stayed there but was too scared of it ending.
She would surely see that I was beyond mending.
All I ever wanted was to live in someone’s heart.
Someone who could promise me that we would never part.
But when you feel so terrible, rotten to the core.
You know it’s only time before you’re out the door.
I’ve never had stability, never had routine
Twenty seven families and I’m only just 14.
I hope things will be different now that I’m with Mike.
He said I’m going nowhere when I put up a fight.
He says he’s knows I’m struggling and will help me work out why.
I lie and steal and swear at him and find it hard to cry.
Mike says I’m a fighter but he’ll take on the war.
With Therapeutic Parenting I’ll never ‘see’ the door.
Consistency and boundaries, structure, warmth and love.
After every incident, he still gives me a hug.
Perhaps I might have met the one who means it when they say.
You’re not going anywhere, you are here to stay.
Sarah Dillon (c) NATP Therapeutic Lead.