I have no other way of showing how I truly feel. No words to express the fury in my soul The terror in my heart The all encompassing pain of shame Defensive rage my only weapon in a world of judgment and rejection Abandonment of self at the root of who I am What I do What I say Look beneath my mask, my endless defiance, erratic behaviour What do you see? Why am I so confrontational, uncooperative, disobedient Do you see my fragmented self? The burden of living in state of survival. Every day Your attempts at drawing closer are buffeted by my resistance And yet, an invisible hand reaches out to you from deep within me Then pulls away as if burned by the flames of fear Fear of further rejection, fear of further loss, fear of you truly seeing me. Knowing I don’t deserve your care, your kindness, acceptance, your love. Approach with gentleness, an open heart Hear beyond the spoken words See beneath the rage I am there Waiting Wanting Needing You..... Sarah Dillon (c) NATP Founding Committee Member.