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Why I am Rude...

Updated: Oct 9

I am rude because I like the feeling of power and control it gives me, especially as I often feel very out of control on the inside.


I am rude because it gives me an outlet for all my pent up emotions that I struggle to identify.


I am rude because people in my past spoke to me or each other that way and I’m used to it.


I am rude because it gets me attention, even if it’s negative attention.


I am rude because I know it winds you up and I like to be in control of you so I don’t feel as scared.


I am rude because I’m tired, hungry, thirsty or just want a cuddle, but don’t realise I’m feeling these things.


I am rude because I’ve got heightened levels of cortisol in my body which pushes me into fight, flight or freeze.


I am rude because you’ve done something nice with me or for me and I want to remind you that I’m a bad kid. That’s because on the inside I’m filled with shame and have a negative internal working model. I don’t believe I deserve good/nice things so I sabotage everything.


I am rude because I want to ellicit the same response from you that I received in my previous/birth family. It feels comfortable when you behave in a way I expect even though it’s not good for me and just proves I’m right and that all adults are the same.


I am rude because you got too close and I’m scared of attachment I am rude to push you away and reject you before you reject me!


I am rude because I’m perceiving a threat where there is none, this is called faulty neuroception.


I am rude because I can’t think before I behave in a certain way or say the wrong thing. I have no internal inhibitors.


I am rude because my higher brain is underdeveloped and offline I am rude because that’s the label I’ve been given by everyone so I might as well live up to it.


Finally, I am mostly rude because I’m scared!


NB : I don’t actually know any of the above. You know it now so please help me to understand it too!

My behaviour is automatic, I’m not consciously aware of WHY I behave this way.

I communicate my distress via my behaviour.


Sarah Dillon © Head of Therapeutic Leads

National Association of Therapeutic Parents


NATP Ltd trading as

The National Association of Therapeutic Parents with company registration number 10705603.

01453 519000

The Priory, Long Street, Dursley, Gloucestershire,

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