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A Therapeutic Lens

Child: On the surface what do you see?

Adult: A ‘normal’ child


Child: How old am I chronologically?

Adult: 11 years old

Child: I don’t feel like an 11yr old


Adult: How old do you feel?

Child: I feel like a toddler

Adult: Don’t be ridiculous

Child: What do I do that concerns you?

Adult: Steal, lie, control, swear, oppose, defy, hide away, hoard food, kick off, the list goes on

Child: I wish I could stop doing these things

Adult: I wish you could too. Actually, I think you can stop


Child: How?

Adult: Just choose to behave, think about the consequences of your actions, consider the feelings of others

Child: Ok, I must be a bad kid if I can’t do what other children my age can

Adult: I didn’t say you were bad, it’s just your behaviour that needs to change

Child: You don’t need to say it, I already know I am

Adult: You just need to try harder


Child: How?

Adult: Start listening to adults and have more respect. Follow the rules

Child: I’m scared of adults

Adult: Don’t be silly

Child: I can’t help how I feel

Adult: Just pause before to do something and put your ‘thinking cap’ on

Child: With my Brain? I haven’t got much of a thinking cap!

Adult: what’s wrong with your brain?

Child: Read the books, do the training, join the NATP and then you’ll understand that MY brain is in a wheelchair! It needs rewiring. I’m stuck in staying alive mode, I can’t think before I do something.

I NEED you to be my ‘thinking cap’, I NEED you to help rewire my brain.

Adult: That could take years!

Child: Yes, Many


Adult: Where do I begin?

Child: THERAPEUTIC PARENTING!


Sarah Dillon ©



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2 Comments


Gemma Manning
Gemma Manning
Feb 05, 2020

For the past few months my 5 year old has demanded that I pretend she is 3 or younger every day. She is telling me how old she feels at any particular time without realising it.

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Jean Anderson
Jean Anderson
Feb 05, 2020

This is so true. My son is 11 and recently he said “I may be 11 but inside I am only 9 and some days I am only 7”.

Today I have had a call from the school as he is behaving like a toddler.

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