Why do I HAVE to do stupid homework

I’ve done enough work at school

Keeping myself really quiet

Or breaking every rule

Either way you look at it

It’s not been that much fun

I can’t cope with you being my teacher

As well as being my Mum

My relationships are far more important

Than ridiculous, pointless SATS

Or GCSE’s, I’ll fail anyway

And so what if I’m crap at Maths

If I don’t rewire my brain

Which only YOU can help me do

I’ll remain in survival mode

And continue to feel like Poo

School is such a scary place

So noisy and so busy

I honestly cannot concentrate

Cos my head feels really fizzy

When I come home I want to leave

School outside the door

I know I’m 10 chronologically

But developmentally I’m 4!

If I choose to do some work

Without it causing me shame

Then be available if I need your help

But your role must remain the same

If the school get really cross

Cos I refuse to do work at home

Download a letter from the NATP

Then You won’t feel so alone

But wait you say, what about my future

Won’t it hold me back???

Well if I don’t rewire my brain

I’ll only get the SACK!

If I cant do relationships

How will I hold down a job?

So when they get annoyed with you

Tell em to ‘Sod off’

Written by Sarah Dillon

Founding Member of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents ©

I am a first class liar and I tell lots of fibs

I’m really quite different to most other kids

I’m scared what will happen if I tell you the truth

Will you beat me, reject me or just hit the roof

Sometimes I truly believe my own version

And soon you’ll agree without much coercion

I’ll make you doubt what you see with your eyes

I’m a master deceiver with stories and lies

I feel like I’m evil, wicked and bad

I’m scared of the fallout and feel really sad

I’m trying to protect me and keep myself safe

And avoid that rejection I see in your face

I feel so alone and I’m drowning in shame

I quickly decide who else I can blame

It’s the only time I look into your eyes

To make you believe there’s truth in my lies

You often demand that I have to be honest

‘But it just wasn’t me’, I convincingly promise

I’ve not nicked the money you’ve found in my pocket

It fell out of sky from an overhead rocket

I say what I can keep you on side

I haven’t got morals and what the hell’s pride?

I just cannot link cause and effect

It’s part of my brain that hasn’t grown yet

While you continue to stand and debate

I’ve already decided on what is my fate

You’re going to tell me to go pack my stuff

I’m vile and disgusting and you’ve had enough

Before you reject me and tell me to leave

I’ve got another ACE up my sleeve

Like a roaring lion that’s escaped from it’s cage

I go on the attack with uncontrolled rage

I’m so full of fear that you’ll soon start to see

The hatred inside that I’ve got for me

The look on your face just confirms what I know

You really don’t love me and now I must go

My only hope is that that soon you will see

It’s all a result of what’s happened to me

It isn’t deliberate and it’s not about you

It’s a sad legacy from what I’ve been thru

You need to just state that you know it’s a lie

You know that I’m struggling and you’ll figure out why

Remind me you love me and I’ve got a good heart

Cos you’re very aware of my difficult start

Tell me I’m staying and I’m not moving on

Though you’re feeling quite sad with what I’ve done wrong

Keep the consequence natural or as near as can be

Or maybe it’s done more logically

Whatever it is, be sure to see

It’s bound up with nurture and real empathy

As I need to build pathways deep in my brain

To link cause and effect without too much pain

This all takes some time and is hard work for you

But the more that you do it, You’ll soon break through

To the small shattered heart that sits inside me

And the scared little child who needs a family

Then my lies will reduce as I build up the trust

That it’s not about me

It’s now about us

Written by Sarah Dillon ©

Founding Member of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents

Natural consequences happen naturally without our intervention

As punishment and shaming should not be our intention

We want to help our little ones to learn to make good choices

But we will not achieve this through lectures or raised voices

The purpose of the consequence is to help their growing brains

To link behaviour to an outcome without causing further pain

The consequence arises from a choice the child has made

The parent let’s this happen without jumping to their aid!

Although this is the best approach, we always must remember

To offer lots of empathy, kindness, care and nurture

As our child experiences the impact of their choice

We come along beside them with comfort in our voice

At other times we may decide to use a little intervention

As building those new synapses is always our intention

Logical consequences can sometimes be our saviour

When seeking to link consequences to unhelpful behaviour

Sarah Dillon (c)

Therapeutic Lead National Association or Therapeutic Parents

NATP Ltd trading as

The National Association of Therapeutic Parents with company registration number 10705603.

01453 519000


NATP Ltd, First Floor,

76-78 Parsonage Street,

Dursley, Gloucestershire,

GL11 4AA